By: Andrew Duffield
Want to score gigs, be a bombshell in bed and overcome your insecurities? Then this video is going to be the game changer you've been waiting for. OK so as many of you know occasionally I like to go into the whole success mindset, sometimes spiritual manifesting kind of content and this article is going to deliver on all those topics big time, but before I relate it to you and how you can grow and overcome the challenges that are holding you back from success, I need to first explain my recent tantric experience so you can learn from what I did right and also where i bombed out and I feel all these lessons can be applied to every single area of your life and I'm also going to keep the main focus on DJing as let's face it Djs and people in the music industry probably get the most sex haha.
I did a full video about this and I go into a sex story but for the sake of the article I spare you the sex story and just go straight into the lessons, you can watch the full video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dhI6eVMPdhM&t=271s
I read a quote once that said when in doubt lean out and what this means is, if she leans out instead of leaning in use it as opportunity to pull your energy back and own your personal space and power and not be dependant on other people or things to go a certain way to feel fulfilment. If you lean in you are throwing away your own power, you have to respect not only the other persons boundaries but also your own and sure when you have feelings that may feel like love, or perhaps you become infatuated, 100% it can be overwhelming but it's important to also not overwhelm the other person and this may mean letting go. By letting go we allow the space needed for things to unfold naturally, it's only when we over think things and try to control the outcome that situations can get messy as people are free spirits and the only thing you can really control is how you interpret things.
So in short, stop taking yourself and life so seriously and have some fun, know you're awesome and any pain that you're experiencing is just an opportunity for you to grow. So let's say you're approaching a venue, not from a position of need, but from a place of lightness, meaning your not attached to the outcome and your ok regardless of wether or not they give you a show or not. or better yet you know that you could add real value to their team and it'd be their loss if they didn't give you a chance, but you convey this in an authentic and friendly way, 100% you don't want to come across as over confident or conceited, then chances are they will respond much better to you, and I think when approaching venues it's first important to form the relationship, or at the very least research what they do so you can be inspired and know what would be expected from you and how you could add value to their team, but where the majority of people go wrong is they focus on the obstacles and have self imposed limiting beliefs, perhaps because they've already been rejected a few times and they feel it's impossible to get shows, or perhaps they bring in limiting beliefs because of their age, and by taking on a negative mindset they hop into this self fulfilling prophecy cycle that it's impossible to get shows, no one will ever book me and they get discouraged and give up or they keep trying and keep failing because they need it so badly and there energy is anything but light and friendly but is borderline desperate and obsessive.
So if you approach anyone, a girl, a guy, a promoter and you have an attitude of lack, your energy could inadvertently push them away, so you have to learn to reclaim your power and be ok no matter happens and use every experience as an opportunity to grow, as the hardest lessons usually are simply pointers to the obstacles in your path, which most likely comes down to your way of interpreting things, and exploring these feelings could actually be the key to what is holding you back and unless you man up and face the dark stuff and try to understand why you're feeling a certain way, it'll continue to show up in your life experience. Too often people get hurt and instead of looking inwards trying to uncover why they are feeling a certain way, they blame and complain and by doing so they miss out on a golden opportunity for personal growth.
So be honest with yourself, what's holding you back. Is it negative beliefs, perhaps insecurities, perhaps down right laziness that comes from watching too much TV so you in-advertedly avoid sitting with uncomfortable feelings that actually present an opportunity to liberate you.
Sometimes just by becoming aware of and naming the feeling, or the insecurity you are feeling dissolves it. A really good example of this is, I recently had an edible and it kind of freaked me out as it was really strong. anyway I was with a friend and I just said, wow, I'm feeling really anxious right now, and as soon as I said it I immediately accepted it, and the anxiety magically dissolved instantly and I started feeling much better, it was such a liberating experience, not the edible but the art of naming, acknowledging, accepting and loving myself and the experience even though at the time it may be really uncomfortable and was confronting.
Also I found with my recent experience, the power of having good friends that you can confide in is huge, so in this recent experience, once I felt rejected I went to my bungalow and I honestly wept and really felt the emotions and allowed them to engulf me, and at the same time I was messaging my best friend in Mullumbimby, Jessi, big shout out, I love you, and I vented to her all my feelings and by doing so I flushed them all out of me.
I also expressed to Jessi my fears that perhaps I may never get such an amazing experience again and she told me that there's plenty of amazing women in the world and my fears were unjustified and reminded me of how much I have going for me, and form that experience of delving into the pain, naming the pain and naming what I was insecure about, it helped me process it all and this made it so much easier to let go and the irony is, within 10 minutes of accepting and letting go entirely the girl knocked on my door wanting to apologise for the abrupt departure and I'll leave it up to your imagination what happened next but this time I maintained my boundaries and just made it fun and light and we had a really nice goodbye, in the way I initially wanted it to be, but this time I was coming from a position of strength as i was standing straight, appreciating the moment, knowing this may be the last time I ever see her and being ok with that, just trusting life and knowing that all the bad stuff I am experiencing is simply a reflection of how I am interpreting the experiences of my life and instead of needing anything from her, I could relax and just be appreciative for the time we had together and know that when you surrender and release fully either the situation will be healed or will be replaced by something better.
Again the same could be applied for getting shows had a student recently kicked out of her residency and she reached out to me in tears wondering if she should just give up, and I told her, based on what she expressed, that the venue didn't sound like a good fit, and from the pain she is feeling now, as long as she could accept it, and use it as an opportunity to grow and improve, then good things will undoubtedly happen for her and within a week she was offered an new residency in an even better venue and is now happier than ever and making a real name for herself.
So long story short, if you're going to a party don't make it about having to go and network to get a future show for the night to be a success, or needing to pick up to feel like you're of value, but instead make the party an end in itself, be present, hold onto your power, don't throw it away so easily and then you become a magnet and if you do fall for someone, it's ok and even attractive to be vulnerable but if you feel her leaning out, don't lean in, regroup, pull your energy back and stand straight and know you are good no matter happens and remind yourself you don't need things to go a certain way to be happy because happiness is a state within you not something that is dependent on things going a certain way. if you can do this, then you'll be resonating at a higher level of awareness, acceptance and have a love frequency that will make you unstoppable.
The truth is this article could even be called the power of letting go which means letting go of control, letting go of needing things to go a certain way, letting go of needing sex to achieve some kind of conquest to give yourself personal validation, letting go of the need to get shows, and by letting go, you put trust in yourself and the world and allow things to unfold naturally for you. So if you're down about not getting shows, name it, talk to someone about it, talk to me and my team in the club ready tribe, and by being vulnerable you're actually uncovering your true authentic self and authenticity, especially in the age of social media, authenticity is the most attractive quality one can have, and keep in mind your outer world is just a reflection of what you think about most so if you're outer world looks shit, there's a chance you're holding onto some form of resistance and the goal is not to try and change your outer world, but look at the inner resistance, get curious about it and dissolve it through awareness, acceptance and by choosing to let it go, that is it!
This was a deeply personal article / video for me and I only shared it because if I am feeling this stuff, the chances are millions of people around the world have similar feelings and i honestly feel in many ways we are all inter connected and although we are individuals and must respect each others space and boundaries, on a deeper level, we are sharing this moment in time and in truth, this is why i love DJIng so much as I feel through DJIng we can create really cool atmospheres that attract likeminded people and through music, dancing and community we can celebrate this amazing opportunity to be alive together and we can unite and forget about all the bullshit and instead embrace and be passionate about the moment in whatever form it takes.
So stop looking around for something outside of yourself to feel good about yourself, you are the power, you are the source and you are creating your experience by the way you perceive it, so give as much to each moment and each day as you can and let's make this life a truly memorable and even magical journey that adds value to others without wanting anything in return. You've got this. Anyway thanks for letting me share this recent experience, we have such a beautiful community here and I hope this video brings some comfort to those who may have come off track or perhaps have fallen into doubts and seriousness and have started to lose hope. Please remember just because you have a problem doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you. Much love and thank for you showing up on my page!
Watch the full video here: kind of confronting, but some juicy nuggets regardless!!
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